I can't tell you where the balance will be with finances in your relationship(s), but I will tell you that you must find balance! Finding a way to be mutually satisfied with where your money goes (and how it comes in for that matter) must take a priority in your life.
I know what it feels like to not agree on finances. If you remember my post earlier about how there is typically a saver and a spender in every relationship? Our house didn't get passed, we are total opposites with money!
It took my husband and me years to find our balance and to both feel satisfied with our financials. Still, we have hiccups occasionally. For instance, recently I have noticed that the two of us sometimes flip roles. As the saver, I all of the sudden am spending more while my husband spends the month saving money!
So really, how did we make it work for us? Well since we have a spender and a saver in our house, there had to be compromise between both parties. As the saver, I have to give up money each month to my husband that he can spend as he sees fit. My husband (the spender) in turn knows that each month there will be a dedicated amount put into savings. This works for us!
Again, what works for another couple could look insanely different. For instance, we have friends that keep their finances separate and split all the bills evenly. They have been together as long as we have and love this system! You must take the time to listen to what your spouse needs and help each other meet both needs.
Bottom line, there are two people in the relationship that must feel satisfied with your financial situation.
So, tell me, how do you make your finances work with your significant other?